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Couples go through rough patches – it happens. But what comes after that and what you do with it will make or break each other in the long run.
Apologizing and forgiving are essential components of a healthy and thriving marriage. Even in any long-term relationship, misunderstandings, disagreements, and hurt feelings are bound to happen. However, how couples handle these challenging moments often determines the strength and longevity of their union.
The art of apologizing and forgiving requires humility, empathy, and a willingness to heal and grow together. Such aspects are revealed in the book The Seven Principles of a Successful Marriage. It teaches us that marital faithfulness alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. After all, you are one in a spiritual and emotional sense; it’s also a matter of allegiance. In a book about successful marriage by Hilaire, we also discover that marriage is a covenant we can’t just casually break because we can.
What an Authentic Apology Can Do
Apologizing sincerely to your spouse should be the first step. Especially when both of you are at the height of intense emotions yet to dwindle. Separating partners put “irreconcilable differences” on paper because of the failure to give an authentic apology. Whether in the wrong or not, we should know better than to keep the contempt burning for long. Letting things be to keep the peace only tears the marriage apart. It could even affect the heart, mind, body, and spirit.
Before offering an apology, take the time to reflect on your behavior during the altercation. Understand the impact on your partner, identify the actions or words that caused the hurt, and acknowledge them.
Taking Responsibility for Your Actions
Furthermore, accepting responsibility for your actions is the next best thing. One of the main reasons that people resent each other is the failure to admit to one’s wrongdoings. If not that, another factor is the refusal to own up to the hurtful actions that were committed. Accountability is easier said than done, especially for people actively escaping it. They don’t want to deal with the hassle of apologizing and coming to terms with what they did, ruining everything else.
In marriage, however, such instance fosters bitterness because the offending party keeps making excuses or is shifting the blame. In this scenario, the best thing to do is to own up to your mistakes and express genuine remorse. Without the latter, the apology and taking responsibility part is meaningless. The process of apologizing and forgiving in marriage always includes the will to admit who’s wrong.
Being in The Other Person’s Shoes
Another thing that apologizing and forgiving in marriage entails is the capacity to show empathy. Your partner’s feelings and emotions in certain moments vary, and there shouldn’t be any rash words or decisions. Validating their hurt and demonstrating your comprehension of the pain that you caused is a massive step toward reconciliation. This can be done by actively listening and considering how they felt when we hurt them.
Be sensitive to your partner’s situation and emotions, even if you may not fully grasp their intensity. It’s best to offer encouragement, reassurance, and kind gestures to let them know that your presence will be there when they need it. By having empathy for your partner, you can effectively support each other’s dreams and become the best versions of yourselves together.
Mending, Apologizing and Forgiving
Moreover, make amends or try to rectify the situation when the time is right. This may involve changing certain behaviors, joining couples’ therapy, or creating a daily effort to rebuild trust. Address the issues you have with each other without talking over the other person and minus the repulsive emotions. If you have any communication problems with your partner, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and be open to criticism without being passive-aggressive. Doing the opposite will only make your partner think they’re not worth listening to, and you’re blocking out their feelings and perspective on the issue.
Apologizing and forgiving are essential skills in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling marriage. They require vulnerability, humility, and a commitment to stay. Whether through the thick or thin, the good and evil, even in financial issues, a torn marriage takes a toll on both partners. Marriage is a conscious choice to be with the person, not just a fleeting fancy you can walk out on when it’s over.
When you master the art of apologizing and forgiving in marriage, you learn the value of humility and faithfulness. Remember, a strong marriage is built on a foundation of love, understanding, and the willingness to apologize and forgive every day.